What happens when you get up one day and your life is one way and you go to sleep that night another way? The kind of change in ways that feels like smashing glass? You're surprised to learn that not everyone in the world heard the break; because it took all your windows out and you were left walking around on shards. You wonder if you did something that caused the break, if you could have done anything at all. You figure you need to sweep it up but know that when you do, it feels like losing even more. You consider keeping a piece of the glass tucked away; that maybe it'll catch the light and make a rainbow you can hold onto.
The sun comes out the next day and the day after that and you notice your blurred heart makes it look like it's raining. You strain with everything in you to change the ending to this story. It doesn't make sense. It. makes. no. sense. This is not alright. This is not okay. And you look up and realize your "But...then God" stories have changed to a question...."But...God??" You quake a little, a lot, in your shoes and your knees feel weak. It makes you fall to the ground and you stay there, because somehow you feel safer there where it's not spinning. "Oh God. Help me. This hurts."
The truth is, you want no explanations, no reasons, because none of them rearranges things and some of them make you angry. What you want is to trust your Father when change is not an option. You want to hear more than an echo. "Here in exile my heart is breaking, and so I turn my thoughts to Him.To God, my defender, I say,' Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go on suffering? Why am I so sad? Why am I so troubled? I will put my hope in God, and once again I will praise him, my savior and my God." Ps 42 There on your knees, the shards still pricking your skin, you realize He's standing there holding out His hand and you notice the whole world is resting in it.
He's reaching because He loves you........
No comments:
Post a Comment