Words or Constipation......

I'm grateful I have words or I'd be constipated.  Words help me make sense of what's going on around me.  They are the pictures I write that other people paint or draw or build with wood.  I am not creative that way.  But I have to  dance somehow and since I don't swing or salsa, except at the park or on my nachos ...I write.  I'm straight up flabbergasted when someone takes the time to read what I paint.  I lay it out shyly most days because I've spent much of my life trying to be invisible.  I figured it made it easier for people to not have to figure out what to do with me.  I'm a handful of sometimes contradictory bubbly and thinking deep and giggly ridiculous and then I spin out over to the side and write it all out.

I sustain myself on shoring others up; on speaking words we sometimes hold inside for no reason.  That is my food and it's also my way of serving up meals. To see someone "wake up" because I tell them what I see in them?  It's better than chocolate.  If I think you're lovely, I tell you.  If I meet up with someone coming down the hall and their spirit burns bright and I feel it on my skin when I walk by, I'll stop and speak that.  It doesn't matter if I know you, know you, you know?  This week, I spent each morning walking outside at a slow pace back and forth,  asking my Creator to give my heart eyes; His eyes.  To push past others' walls, my own walls, and just talk and act braver than I felt.  To risk.

I'm EXHAUSTED this week from all the faces I've seen and names I've tried hard to memorize.  They've all become one big head in my mind with one big name; "Somebody With a Face."  Sounds Indian.  I want to grow wings with feathers and take them all in, except I think I'd scare the little ones with feathered wings but, my point is.....to be exhausted from caring and seeking after Him hard to the point of a headache?  Its just the most fabulous ache in the world.

So, this morning I'm "listening" in my spirit.  I've had kids come in and sit on the floor this week in the Spirit store so I say...God?  Chairs?  A soft carpet where they can fall onto and just be. I "see" in my mind a huge banner that asks them a challenging question and they can sign their name to it to say "Hey!  I was here".  I want to craft a prayer box where they can drop in quiet pleas or praises and I will agree with them on it as I walk the halls during their classes taking pictures and listening to the sounds.  I took this picture because it looks like warm and comfort to me.  This is what I want to create around me.

FATHER!  I yell out in my heart.  Thank you, thank you, for gracing me this dance with words!  Make it crazy, wild and wreckless in love with You and what You're doing!  And help me pull others up onto the dance floor with me so they won't be constipated either!  :)