He Does Make Beautiful Things

I thought to write about the day after Christmas and how I'm glad that it's over.  Because as fine as I am being alone, I'm not and it still makes me emotionally uncomfortable and I squirm to be out from under the Christmas thumb.  I love the idea of Christmas.  I just don't love the reality of it sometimes.  I struggle to keep my bones from hurting.  To acknowledge the truth of what I am really celebrating, rather than what the culture gives me.  It seeps under my skin and starts to poison me quick if I'm not vigilant to guard the door of my heart.  "It's too bad about your life," Lie smirks.  I look around and all is not Polar Express perfect and the hot chocolate isn't served by dancing waiters.  In fact, I was out of milk so there was no hot chocolate at all.  I blogged bravely that I was ok.  But I cried some.  So.  Yeah.  I'm glad Christmas is over.  It exhausted me, the fight I felt myself in.

I love life.  Like the real kind on any given Thursday in April that doesn't have something attached to it that makes me feel like a left out loser.  It doesn't take as much for me to dig in and keep to it.  It can be raining and I'm still ok.  In fact, I would garden in the rain and have fun, all sloppy muddy non perfect.  It's not perfect I require.  It's not problem free I desire.  It's the grimy underbelly that I find hidden under the rocks and brush off to see what He had in mind in others, in turning a situation around in the ugly beautiful.  That's where the sun starts shining for me. 

To watch how He makes beautiful things out of what isn't already tinsel; what's frayed on the ends or muddy where it got dragged through dirt.  I love seeing a smile on a face that got there, not because they got what they wanted for Christmas, but because you see each other and are happy about it.  That.  That doesn't wear me out.  It cost nothing.  Except heart risk and time.  Those are His tools though.  

My favorite "carol" isn't Silent Night.  Because on any given Thursday in April, you might hear me singing "He Makes Beautiful Things" as reverently as any Christmas song......because I made a difference in someone's life and they made a difference in mine.

Merry Any Given Thursday....:)