The end. Of the first school semester of my girls' career and I look at her and marvel. She walks tall and graceful through the halls. She has gathered, for herself, a group of friends that want to be her friend as much as she wants to be theirs. It is her community and I warm happy in my heart when I step into the school cafeteria and see her smile big as her face. She enjoys her homework so much I miss her company but smile at her as she checks her grades each night online. She has flowered and been watered in her spirit and I thank Him breathless sometimes. "I can't imagine not going to school now, Mama." Me either, girlie.
My girl in the west waits eager for her man to get there. Their first Christmas together as a couple. He has made her happy and I am so grateful for what they have. They are best friends who talk and share their ideas and silly secrets freely. He has made her feel safe and chosen. He is who I prayed for for her when she lay her silky blonde little head on her pillow each night as a tiny girl. I'm grateful to tears and hang up the phone from talking to her secure in knowing her heart is cared for.
My grandbaby is safely born and snuggled up in her parents' arms.....two people in whom I am confidently blessed to see follow Him in how they live and love. They will make dynamite parents. I am honored to be able to say they are my "kids". They create and take lovely pictures and have made their own way through a fabulously challenging first year of marriage, shaking strong and resolute in Who has carried them. I love them so.
I sit in my big green chair this first afternoon of Christmas break, my thinking spot inside my house and remember how I felt the first day of work at school, my cheeks blushed hot from happy joy and nervous energy. Would they like me? Would I find my place, my path, His path for me? As it turns out, the answer is yes! Yes! Happy, giddy yes! I've felt some pain, to be sure. Some worry. Some confusion. But never doubt that I was put there by His hand. And with each dagger that I put at His feet, daggers that threatened to stop my breathing, stop my spirit from Life......He has peeled back my protective skin that rushes to keep me bound in my own brand of safety and left me with tender new skin that hurts when it's cut. And I have looked upward to Him with question marks running down mixed with the blood from living real. THIS HURTS. THIS SCARES ME. HOW WILL YOU FIX THIS? I scream the questions quiet in my brain as I pace the gym floor each morning. "Abide." The quiet word repeats itself until I fall down exhausted. And surrendered.
This year; this impossible year that I named in January has surprised me with its unexpected journey. And, as I type I sense that I am taking the impossible with me into the new year. And I will name it "Sequel". Because there's pictures half painted that I'm eager to see His brush pass over.
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