Ruminating Like a Cow

I'm chewing cud over here like a mad cow.  It's what I do.  It's also who I am so I do not apologize.  I am a thinker, a writer, a lover of people and what and who they are.  I am passionate when I care and sometimes it comes out all wrong and sounds like angry.   I will stay right there in your dirt while you sling it.  I will be the first to grab you and hug you when you throw the last clod, worn out mad or hurt, and wrap my arms around you even if it's me you're mad at.  When I love, I love even with the enamel on my teeth.  I'm worse than an old coon dog.  I will always come home to roost with you.

I am irritating that way.  I know that.  I love to know what you're thinking.  I love knowing what you like on your hamburger.  I love knowing that if you're mad at me you'll yell at me if you have to.  Because then I know we're safe for each other.   I am not someone to hold at a distance.  I laugh easy, I cry easier, I listen close, I pay forward in spades with hugs and empathy.  I make food and be silly and curl up by fires and roast marshmallows until they're black and laugh at your jokes. I like the zoo and speaking nonsense. But at the end of the day, I won't be held at a distance.  Distance feels like strangers.  It makes me feel like an intruder; like I'm being punished.  Like a waste of time and reason.  It feels like the invitation to the door.

I will push you past your comfort zone to take your hand and walk you into light you may not have seen before.  Because sometimes my flashlight shines brighter than yours.  I will stand close to you when you shine your light on me.  Because that's why God puts us in each others' lives.  And I will be the last to resist that.  I warm myself by the light He puts in you.  I want to challenge and be challenged.  Else why?

So "don't stand so close to me" if you don't want me wiping the mud off your hands after you've yelled at me and thrown the pickle off of your hamburger.  I don't know any other way to be but all in.  I will do the diddy wop dance to make you laugh.  I will send you cards with little tiny people holding balloons that look pitiful to make you know that I miss you.  I will draw pictures in the steam of your window until you let me in.

I like red onions on my hambuger